I read this quote yesterday in my favorite magazine….Where Women Create….and it made me stop and wonder….
“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”
writing, weird stuff, quotes, breast cancer
I read this quote yesterday in my favorite magazine….Where Women Create….and it made me stop and wonder….
“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”
It is final….I have a rare breast cancer….it is only 1 %of all breast cancers and it seems….I HAVE IT. After visits with oncologist and our cancer care doctor….it appears to be a cancer that does not react well to treatments … does not extend life much at all. I was told that if I wanted chemo they would go ahead with it…but I am not about to spend the next 6-9 months dealing with the many side effects that would truly interfere in my life as it is right now….so…..it will be no treatments. That was difficult to swallow at first and my husband and I had to take a week to deal with it all. I spent many hours writing emails , talking on the phone, and sitting with friends and family discussion it all. I had decided that if I was going to die….I wanted those in my life to be a part of the whole process and so shared and shared and shared. It was a stressful few weeks but now that it has been done….I am so much calmer. At first I was so mad….m ad…mad, then so very scared, but for some reason now….it is aa if a page turned and a calmness crept in and life is ok now. My husband is the very best…he lets me talk about thoughts that float around in my head….and he is doing the same which makes it all so comfortable. Making sure all our stuff was in order, banks, power of attorney , will , palliative care, insurances and more has been important. We want to get all our ducks in a row so when the time comes ….things will go smoothly for everyone. I will have to stop here for today….lots to do. thanks for listening.
Ahhhhhh…..winter.
Winter would not feel so cold if our yards could look like this….
even with the snow all around..
.this sure would be nice to see in the morning.
Here are some other beautiful flowers to cheer you up during this long cold winter some of us have been going through.
Look very carefully at them and you will find they are made up f painted bodies. How cool is that???
Stay warm.
“
We have all hear people talking about ….waiting for their ship to come in…and maybe at times…we have wished that ours would come in as well.
Let’s think about it…a ship… is a large boat . ..that I for one… have never seen resting on a shore.
You may be thinking…but cruise ships come in to shore? right?….Not really. They come in to docks..(.not the shore)…. docks that have been specially built for them.
So I suppose that means …if you sit on shore and wait for it…you might be sitting there a very long time…unless there is a natural disaster that forces it to crash on the shore…
Your ship might come in but it will be damaged and broken …not exactly what you had in mind.
So I suppose.. if your ship doesn’t come in… swimming out to it would be in order…..Don’t know how to swim??…and the thought of learning to is frightening? ….you may have to just start building that long dock.
So… if sitting and watching…doesn’t bring in your ship….and you can’t swim or build…
you might have to reconsider the ship idea…
and settle for something a little smaller.
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
John Burroughs
I have spent hours on our lake waters the past three years…and each year I am amazed by the changes of the landscape and the wildlife that find a home within. However…. …Where are all the ducks, geese, small wading birds and muskrat??? Why would there be many one year and almost none the next???
The only thing that comes to mind is the differing water levels each year. This year the lake water were extremely high…and moving too fast….could that be the reason???
Was there no place for nesting to take place?? I miss watching the young grow up…and looking forward to finding them each time I visit the lake.
However…the Turtles…the beautiful painted turtles seem to be a constant in the landscape…everyday around 10 am.
I love to float beside them …near the reeds…as they hug a piece of driftwood and raise the heads toward the sun in unison, is always a special moment.
For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.
Yes…I am missing something this summer…. the creatures …however…I have spent more time observing the trees and the plants as they grow and change during the summer…more than ever before. I have observed the changing of the shores…how the rain , sun and wind affect the growth, in and around the waters edge… how the water surface explodes some days with new growth…and how it can visually change from being glasslike in one spot yet choppy with waves in another.
Ahhhh…change. Mother Nature seems to embrace it and accept the consequences .
Now…if only I could be as flexible as she.
For the purposes of my story….the following aptly applies….
The ability to act freely: a state in which somebody is able to act and live as he or she chooses, without being subject to any undue restraints or restrictions…
To be released from captivity or slavery: release or rescue from being physically bound, or from being confined, enslaved, captured, or imprisoned…
It occurred on Monday morning…I was enjoying a solo paddle on the lake…and…..as I looked ahead I could see a rock jutting out of the water…So as not to hit it I touched it with my paddle. To my surprise….it was not a rock but instead….a turtle…floating. It was not moving…was he dead?…or was he just hurt…. and so with my paddle, I lifted him onto the front of my kayak. I immediately noticed the fishing line…. coming from it’s mouth….and it turned out the other end of the line was attached to the shore of the lake.. Poor little turtle …I’ll call him Mike…all I could think was that he got caught on the line/hook…. and had been floating out there with no food days…so I did the only thing I could…..SET HIM FREE !!! I know the turtle Mike, was dead… but at least now… he could float freely into the reeds along the shore . I was a bit sad for the little creature…but it felt good that morning to give him his freedom.
It was not until a few years ago , when my sister told me about her thin place,…that I first heard this term.
She shared with me…a favorite beach she likes to spend time at….where wild horses can be seen running on the sand… a location she called her thin place.
I immediately wondered….what is it that makes a place… thin….how does a person know if they have ever been ….to a thin place??
Is it a place where the… spiritual…the physical ….the mental….and the natural….have a fine line between them?..
when they are indistinguishable from one another???
Is a thin place….an actual physical location???…or is it a state of mind???
Some have said that a Thin Place… cannot be described with words.
So that got me to wondering….have I ever found myself in a thin place?
…the first thing that came to mind was…
my kayak… paddling all alone…. on the lake or down the creek in my kayak…
Yes…I do believe that is MY thin place.
A place where I can be alone but never feel alone….where my mind can breath and my body relax… where life as it is ….seems to disappear.
Perhaps that is why I look so forward to the end of a long cold Canadian winter… a chance to once again….return to that place…my Thin Place.
Have you found your….
Think about it for a minute….unconciously we are all… hoping…hoping everyday…all the time without even thinking….. hoping that it will be sunny…hoping that we get to work on time…hoping the traffic light does not turn red….hoping you will receive an email from a friend….and the list could go on and on. We hope all the time.
There are of course… times when hoping is what helps us to get through a tough day or a difficult time and is more conscious thought.
It is at those moments when having hope is what gets us through the day.
Now… I am the first to say that, by just hoping ,we cannot make sure a good outcome to occur…however…it can sure make you feel better…more positive about the possible future…
So if all of this is true…why would we ever,ever want to…TAKE AWAY ANOTHER PERSON’S HOPE?
Oh no..!!!!! Makes me wonder.. have I ever taken away someone’s hope??
SMILE ???
It takes four muscles to smile,
20 to frown.
Make someone smile today.
Do I think I am unique??? ……If all of us are unique…..does that mean that none of us really are?????
Or….maybe we are equally unique….and so…differently the same??? And….If we are just like everyone else….is anyone really unique at all???
Just something to think ……..
So next time you start to feel like you are special…or unique…remember….so is everyone else.
Do we help each other sparkle?
This got me wondering about sparkling….do I sparkle?
….How about you?…..have you found your place?…your constellation??
…Do you sparkle?….do you care?
I think there are days when we all sparkle….however….I know there are days when I don’t.
Hmmmmm……
I wonder …is there is a way to keep my sparkle ??….
So….here we all are….looking forward to another year…. !!! Will it be full of things that never were????
For me….for the past 3 years….I have made and kept a New Year’s resolution… I know that most people say….Bah, Humbug….to any kind of resolutions…We have all made them and tried our best to keep them with little or no success…so why bother???….Well…I have come up with a way to be able to make and keep a resolution….easily……The trick is to decide on a change that adds to your life….not one that causes stress
For example….one year I vowed to buy only vine ripened tomatoes when available….nothing less….then there was the NOT turning on the radio in the car unless driving more than 16 kms….how nice and quiet my rides were….and last year I decided to ….around the first of each month…to go clothes shopping for an item or two….to help update my shabby wardrobe. Now you must admit…..very easy resolutions to make….and follow through on. Not a bit of stress involved ….and the feeling of accomplishment at the end of each year. And these resolutions I have continued to carrry on till the present!!!!!
So….now comes the difficult part….coming up with a new resolution for 2013…..but thanks to some friends of mine….on New Year/s eve….we did some brainstorming on possible ideas for resolutions…..such as….
I am feeling that the freezer idea will be it for me in 2013 ….I think once a month ….would be a good way to go this year…..Now I am a bit excited to find out what is lurking in that freezer downstairs. ….I am just going to have to come up with a date to start…..hmmmm….I suppose if I do it sometime during the first week of each month….will be it…..Hmmmm…although the thought of firsts really intrigues me …..could I maybe….do both…????
Could this is be a gentle way to step out????
Is this a leaf….a bug….an elephant?????…..Look again…it is really a person standing on his head..covered in body paint!!!!!
I had to look again and again before I was finally able to see this for what it really is.