Why is a Civil War…uncivil???

I was reading a book today and got to thinking about words…words in the English language…words that don’t make any sense…and…I kept coming up with more  and more examples…and I thought…Imagine being a newcomer to the English language and trying to make sense of it… our language is often used… in such contradictory ways….for example…

“Civil War”-I don’t remember ever reading about… any war being …CIVIL …..”Greenland”-why call a land that is white… most of the time…GREEN???….”Death Valley”-strange name for a place …having…  a LIVING population….”Eggplant”-it may be a plant…but not the size or color or texture of any egg I’ve ever seen…”catgut”–actually comes from a sheep….and …an “underdog”- has nothing to do with a dog.

Words…Ok now…imagine being new to our language and telling someone …When my grandfather “kicked the bucket”…there were a lot of”crocodile tears”…or…The “boob tube” put me” in hot water”…or…My mother is always “splitting hairs” and “picking holes in things”…or…He was running down the hill …when he “hit the wall”.

And …how about…have you ever received an invitation to a “political PARTY”??…or…have you ever been  “in the same boat” as  a “lucky duck”??…What kind of umbrella might  one need when it is “raining cats and dogs”??…Does a “life-preserver” really preserve….Why are “bangs” so quiet???…and…Why is the “hot seat”…never really hot to the touch??

Words, words, words….I can’t begin to imagine how confusing it would all be …if I were to be trying to learn English…I do think we must have one of the most convoluted languages there is…When I was attempting to learn French…it seemed  more “straight forward”…hmmmm….          Or is the French language ….  just the same…???

Oh no!!!  …Could it be… that I just kept understanding and taking everyone literally!!!….wow…now that’s a scary thought.

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I will be at McNally Robinson’s Bookstore on Dec. 4th…1-3 to sign books…come visit and pick up some Christmas gifts at the same time.

HO HO HO