“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw
The other night as I was watching my favorite TV show…Criminal Minds….the above quote was stated. Wow I thought…how profound is that…yet how simple!!..Is it possible that when we communicate…we are all under the illusion that people understand??…Can it be that when we try to get a message across…when we attempt to communicate….our messages are often misunderstood?
I remember once hearing the phrase….The more you communicate, the more chance there is that your message will be misunderstood.
What exactly is the meaning of communication?.. The art and technique of using words effectively to impart information or ideas.
However …when we communicate…we do it with words both written and spoken…and of course there is our body language. …that language we express by using our eyes…our body stance…our hands…our facial expressions and more…But how effective are we…really???
Ever wonder why we are given… two ears… and …only one mouth?
Can communication really be that confusing??…Is it possible that what is said is …really …different from what is heard???
Here is a thought…maybe we should think of communication like this…. tossing a ball to someone…One person throws and the other catches…If the ball is thrown too hard…it is difficult to catch…if it is thrown too softly…it is difficult to catch…if it is thrown far from the catcher…the ball is impossible to catch….In the case of the tossed ball…if not tossed just right…keeping in mind the person who is catching… the ball can roll right past …or it can bounce off…or it can even be lost forever…What about if the catcher is distracted and turns away??? Not a good time to toss it …is it???
Are the balls you toss always caught??…It is difficult to really know if they are being caught or not…If communicating is like the tossing of a ball…something visual…would we be more successful at communicating??…Would our attempts to …and our feedback ….to communicate no longer be so illusive to us??….I suppose we would be able to then see…. if our words were successfully received…We would then know …if the ball rolled off….or if it was caught…it would give us that concrete feedback…that could let us know we need to toss the ball differently if we want someone to actually catch it!!!
But Alas…our words are not about to turn into balls…and it will never be simple to know if we are being misinterpreted or not…I suppose it might be a good idea to think about body language…as often…it can be that… which is interpreted and not the message…We have all seen in others…. the rolling of eyes…the no eye contact…and maybe we have been confused with how someone holds their mouth or their head…We may see these in others but how about us….Don’t we do those same things too???… If you have been confused by others messages…isn’t it possible that others are confused by ours???
Whose is responsible… to ensure the understanding of a message...the tosser or the catcher?? hmmm…think about it. Tossing a ball is easy…but getting it into the hands of the catcher…that is the real trick. ..and …how can you expect a catcher to get the ball if it is not carefully tossed????
When you communicate…how confusing are your messages???
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March 25, 2011 at 6:32 am
Joanna Aislinn
Hi Sally,
Just came across your article at Selling Books and thought it was excellent–wonderful information for those who are relatively new at this and even those who’ve been at it for some time. I commend all the hours you put in in addition to the day job. Best of luck!
(Now if I could just figure out where to comment on the Selling Books site…)
Joanna Aislinn
Dream. Believe. Strive. Achieve!
NO MATTER WHY
The Wild Rose Press
http://www.joannaaislinn.com
http://www.joannaaislinn.wordpress.com